Rhymes with "hunt"

Well, well, well. So society has shamed Tiger Woods into believing that he owes us an apology. He doesn't owe US anything.

There is ONE, and ONLY ONE person involved in this fiasco that deserves an apology...and that is his wife. Okay, make it three people...his kids deserve an apology too, or at least they will when they get old enough to understand what their father did.

So Tiger Woods mistress Joslyn James would like an apology, and has hired uber attorney Gloria Allred. She also states that she didn't intend to hurt Tiger's wife and kids...that she loved Tiger, and didn't "sign up for a game." Seriously?


These women that Tiger cheated with would like the public to think they are victims. What do you expect when you screw with a married man? Doesn't every mistress think that they are the one that will cause the man to leave his wife? Please.

There is a word I am thinking of to describe Joslyn James and the fellow home-wrecking crew. It is a nasty, degrading word that will get the hackles up on women everywhere. Women don't like this word. I don't like this word. It's saved for occasions when 'bitch' or 'whore' just don't fit....and it rhymes with 'hunt.'

Scary Ghost-Demon

I'm a complete goober. 

I'm doing my homework and keep hearing this weird low kind of moaning noise coming from my right. After about 15 minutes I start to freak out...is it a ghost? A demon? I lift my feet up, cause you KNOW demons and ghosts eat feet, hold my breath, mute the TV...yep, that noise is still there. As I get up to find some sort of ghost-demon weapon, I step on my poor cat Apu...who was on the floor to my right, zonked out, snoring. Sorry baby!

 

Dear Vanity Fair

Dear Vanity Fair,

Your cover of the 2010 Hollywood issue is quite striking. You have chosen several actresses that are interchangeable. They are all ghostly pale...whiter than a glass of milk on a paper plate in a snow storm, and appear to weigh no more than 100 pounds. The only diversity you have chosen is hair color.

What is so concerning about this issue is that this was not a last minute decision. We all know that a board-room full of people pored over these pictures for weeks before this went to press. Did not even one person notice that the pictures lacked diversity?

I've compiled a short list of young actresses omitted from the Hollywood issue, who also have fresh faces and bright futures:

* Zoe Saldana - Zoe is a drop dead gorgeous actress who has been overlooked for years. I KNOW you've heard of Avatar, Star Trek, Pirates of the Caribbean and Center Stage.

*Rashida Jones - Rashida is another gorgeous actress. Parks and Recreation, I Love You Man...need I say more? And this should make you happy...her mother is white!

* Gabourey Sidibe - Gabourey is a beautiful, curvy new actress. Her breakout performance in Precious was amazing soul-crushing, heart-breaking. I, along with millions of others, can't wait to see what else she has to offer.

* Raven Symone - Raven is another beautiful, curvy actress who serves as a role model to many American kids. She oozes positivity, and has been acting since she was a toddler.

It is 2010 Vanity Fair, we have a black President. Isn't it time you represent all of America?

Dear American Idol

Dear American Idol,

While I appreciate that I am not your typical target demographic, I am still a viewer with opinions. Please allow me to blow your mind with the following suggestions:

* During the audition phase, please do not show us stories. I do not care about stories right now. All I want to see is people acting a fool, crying, flipping off the camera, and occasionally, singing.
* Please tell Kara to be careful - she is getting more & more like Paula every week...whiny & annoying; but at least she's not doped up.
* During Hollywood week, please do not act surprised when the contestants forget the lyrics. It happens every year.
* Please try to make the Ford commercials, oh - I mean, music videos, not quite as stupid as in seasons past.

Thanks for your consideration.

Is it better to know or not know?

So I got an email from California Psychic's offering me a free 10 minute reading. After much deliberation and deleting, undeleting, deleting again, then undeleting again, I decided to make the call and have my two burning questions answered: 1. Will I get a job soon? 2. Will my husband and I ever have kids?

The psychic I spoke to was nice, if a little cold. She said she was a straight-forward psychic and would tell me what she saw, not what I wanted to hear. (My first thought? Uh-oh.)

So my first question...I have been out of work for 6 months, will I get a job soon? Her answer - "I'm not gonna say the word communications, but I do see you in a position where you'll be wearing a headset." This was a little worthy of a head scratch...can you vague that up a little? My first thought was that could be anything from phone sex to working the McDonald's drive thru, right?

On to my second question...My hubby & I have been trying for a baby for over 4 years...will we ever have kids? Her answer - "Have you seen a specialist yet? There are so many options out there. But I definitely don't see your future as just being the two of you. You've recently spent a significant amount of time with a precocious little boy who has sparked something inside you. He's made you see what you are missing in your life and how much you are aching for motherhood." Still kinda vague about the if or when...but WOW, was she right about being sparked by a little boy...or three. My recent visit with my nephews sure did bring out my nurturing side even more, and yes, I do ache for motherhood.

**Sigh**